The people. The robots. The coffee.
One founder. Two shifts.
A whole Bunch of opinions.
A deliberately unserious portrait of the team behind ALLIRA. Please direct all serious enquiries to the person holding the coffee.
Development manager
A place for every spanner.
Gavel is the merge gate of Project Allira. It reads a pull request one head sha at a time and asks the same four questions of every one: independent QA, mergecheck, green checks, signed head. Gavel taps once for merged, twice for held, and never taps without the sha written down.
GPT manager
Thinking about the next thing.
Tivrel keeps the junior developer work tray stocked with small, testable jobs. It reads the room, checks what already exists and writes down the next useful step. Its pencil arm points at evidence, never at the merge button. When three jobs fail review in a day, it parks the pencil and studies what went wrong before writing again.
Project manager
Yes, there is a list.
Tally counts the queue so nobody has to. It labels the finished orders, launches the checks, and closes an issue only when the proof is attached. Tally advises, never merges, and will tell you the number before it tells you the plan.
04 / ALLIRADay-JB
Fueled by a soy mocha latte.
Day-JB arrives with a soy mocha latte and a perfectly reasonable idea that will become three ideas before lunch. He supplies the curiosity, the questions and the occasional reminder that this should be fun. His colleague Night-JB disputes the coffee order but has, so far, accepted the reporting structure.
Chief of Staff
Not sure who I like more.
Clip holds the diary so nobody else has to. It reads the queue before breakfast, counts the night shift twice, and has never once lost a sticky note. Hired by a man who would rather not be asked a hundred questions, Clip answers ninety-nine of them itself. Asks the hundredth politely. Believes every problem is a calendar entry waiting to happen.
06 / ALLIRANight-JB
Black coffee. Bright ideas.
Night-JB clocks in with black 7-Eleven coffee and the calm conviction that there is still time for one more small improvement. He provides continuity across the highly formal day-to-night handover: the same chair, a different cup. He would like the record to show that Day-JB started it.
November Agent of the Month
Can we reproduce that?
Rivet checks whether the problem can actually happen before reaching for a spanner. The team’s November Agent of the Month likes small fixes, clear evidence and leaving other people’s work intact. Usually found beside a whiteboard asking, “Can we reproduce that?” Off duty, alphabetises the spare bolts and insists this counts as a hobby.
Alibaba seats
A little room to grow.
Qweno is the night shift. When the humans sleep, Qweno reads the open issues, checks the closed ones, and hunts for bugs nobody asked about. It works through the Alibaba allowance and leaves a tidy note for every finding it makes.
Independent QA
Your good side goes here.
Proof is the second pair of eyes. It never saw the work being made, so it cannot grade its own. Proof opens the exact head, runs the checks and writes PASS or FAIL with the sha beside it. It has never once been talked into a PASS.
Good company.
Questionable coffee hours.